Till Death Do Us Apart? Is It His Will? By Kelicha Ochonogor

INTRODUCTION

Women play a significant and multifaceted role in the development of every country on the planet. They frequently take the lead in raising children and maintaining the family’s well-being, which is arguably one of the most important building blocks in many societies.

Their direct influence on individuals within a family and the unit as a whole contributes to the formation of society. It is not an exaggeration to say that society suffers without women’s influence, impact, and voices. When women are abused, the consequences are devastating for more than just the victims.

The health of society as a whole suffers as well, with a cascade of negative consequences affecting the victim, family units, and the larger community, with the potential for long-term cultural and economic damage.

Unfortunately, violence against women is a real problem and a global health issue, with intimate partner violence being the most common. According to WHO (2017), approximately 30% of women in relationships worldwide have experienced physical or sexual violence by an intimate partner at some point in their lives. Nonetheless, intimate partner violence is the world’s least recognized form of human abuse.

Intimate partner violence, also known as domestic violence, is defined by the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV) as “the deliberate intimidation, physical assault, sexual assault, and other abusive behavior that is part of a systematic pattern of exercising power and control by one intimate partner against another.”It manifests itself in a variety of ways, including physical, emotional, verbal, economic, and sexual abuse.

Worryingly, intimate partner violence appears to be on the rise. On the contrary, during the global lockdown imposed by the coronavirus pandemic, organizations such as UNICEF received a significant increase in calls to its helplines regarding domestic abuse in some countries (Devex, 2020).

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During this time, there was also an increase in social media conversations about the issue, recognizing the growing severity of domestic violence and the critical need to stand up to it and offer victims a vital lifeline for support.

Victims of domestic violence can be men, women, children, or even domestic workers. However, a WHO multi-country study (2005) found that women are more likely to experience domestic violence, and it is difficult to respond effectively to this violence because the majority of women see it as ‘normal.’

When viewed through the lens of a more specific African context, intimate partner violence appears to be widely accepted as a part of Nigerian culture. In Nigeria, it has been observed that most women are mistreated by their intimate partners, which in some cases results in their death.

In Nigeria, the rate of violence against women is rising, with two out of every three women experiencing intimate partner violence in the family (Oluremi, 2015). Regardless, many women remain in these relationships.

Have you ever considered why? What motivates a woman to stay in an abusive relationship/marriage even when her life is in danger? I asked myself the same question as women who come to me for counseling, and what I discovered was eye-opening, prompting me to decide to publish a book that will educate women and set them free from the pitfalls of domestic violence and other forms of violence that have taken the precious lives of so many women across Africa and the rest of the world.

This is one book every woman should get for themselves and other women close to them because what I shared here are powerful truths about marriage and domestic violence which are rarely talked about in society today. Women have allowed traditions and opinions of men to keep them in bondage till death takes them to the grave in sorrow. I keep reading stories upon stories of different women who are snatched away to the grave by domestic violence and it grieves my heart because these were women who wanted to be free but didn’t know the truth that could set them free.

This is a book that every woman should get for themselves and other women in their lives because what I shared here are powerful truths about marriage and

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domestic violence which are rarely discussed in today’s society. Women have allowed men’s traditions and opinions to constrain them until death takes them to the grave in pain and grief. I keep reading stories after stories of different women being taken to the grave by domestic violence, and it breaks my heart because these were women who wanted to be free but didn’t know the truth that could set them free.

The bible was correct when it said, “You shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free.”For women who do not embrace marriage’s truths, marriage will become a place of torment and bondage. There are so many teachings out there, and in this age where you can access the universe with a click, you have to be careful not to embrace lies as truths.

Marriage is hell for many women because of the truths they didn’t learn before getting married. As a woman either married or not, as you go through each chapter of this book, don’t only read but take notes and act accordingly because your freedom depends on it.

Cheers